“Sir has sent a call for you”, the hostel warden came and told me. My heart thumped. I felt like I was sinking down deep into the earth. I knew not what was to be done next. My head reeled. Everything seemed to be blackened out. I felt as if I would just fall down. Nothing entered into my mind.
I knew if I would enter inside, the same mental torture would be given to me. I knew that once I am in, he would close the door and I would have no way to escape from the claws of that devil. I did not have the courage to shout for help as I was sure that hearing my cry, no one would extend a helping hand to me. This is not the first or the second time I am facing this. It has been a number of times within a month. I don't have the guts to oppose him for he would surely murder me. My conscience always warned me not to go inside at his call. my mind always forced me to go, not because I was interested, but to avoid a greater blunder which might even ruin my life.
Yes, what I have faced in my life is nothing new. Every girl has faced it when they move away from their parents. It is very depressing. You feel harassed but the bounder seems to enjoy each and every part of it. When I come out of the room, everyone literally everyone can understand that something wrong has happened with me. No one ever asks me or raises a word against the wrong being done. Everyone loves his job. Everyone is money minded.they fear that they might be deprived of their jobs if they raise a voice against it. Who cares for me? Let me lose my virginity. Anyways one day I had to lose it. Let's say at the age of thirty but I'm losing it forcefully at the age of sixteen only. How does that matter?
I cannot reveal it to anyone else because people will raise their finger towards me even without looking at the culprit. They will accuse me saying that I must have given the scope. I have spent many sleepless nights. My pillow has got drenched with tears but no one gets to know that I am crying. Slowly I became dull and lost my interest in everything.
I don't know what he thinks of me. Whenever I am in an assemblage, I am his daughter. But when I am alone, I am a sex worker. He has every right to put on me. He can force me to stand still until he has touched all the parts of my body. If I show any signs of opposition, he has the power to push and pull me and resume to fulfill his intentions. Whenever I am inside the room, I feel myself as a puppet in his hands and he can make me dance in every way he likes. I cannot oppose him for he can even murder me using his powers and my parents would not even get a glance of their daughter's corpse.
All the time I had been thinking these, I could not realize that the tears from my eyes had drenched the whole page. I get disturbed by the words of the hostel warden saying, “Which thoughts are you lost in? Sir has asked you to meet him in his office immediately.”