My guess is I’m sitting right in front of you right now, and you’re wondering why I don’t just talk to you. Well, the main reason is because I don’t want to mess this up. I’m afraid if we just talk, I’ll miss something and beat myself up on my way home for forgetting. I want to thank you for the things you’ve taught me.
When we met, you we’re so wonderful; everything about you took my breath away. I hope you remember that. It was the night I fell in love. Thank you for that. I will carry it with me always. Thank you also for the late night talks we had. There was always something about the way you listened that made me feel like the only person in the world. It wasn’t always bad between us. Thank you for missing me. I always felt loved, even though you never said it.
You have inspired me to write more, to love more, to be more patient and to forgive. I forgive you for making me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. I forgive you for embarrassments. I forgive you for keeping me at arm’s length and waiting until you had feelings for me. I forgive you for breaking my heart into a million pieces. Not because I’m better for you, not because I am good, but because I am not angry anymore. You have been the greatest love of my life. Thus far, also my greatest disappointment. But even in all of the pain and the hurt, there was growth, I learned to build boundaries, I learned my self-worth was more than you’d allow I learned to love out loud. I learned not to wait to share my thoughts and feelings.
I own myself today, because of you. I suppose a part of me will always love you. That’s what’s most amazing about love, isn’t it? There’s no getting it back once you give it away. Thank you for being part of my life, even just for the moments we’ve shared. I will keep you close to my heart and hope you will do the same. Promise me you’ll forgive yourself for your part in the ugly things that have transpired between us, let’s not hang on to the past. I come clean today so I may walk away. I hope you can do the same.
I will always remember the very first time we met, the very first time my lips touched yours, the very first time you wrapped your arms around me and rested your head on my shoulder. Your smile, your way of looking at me will always be fresh in my memories. There are so many lovely memories but the fact is, the remaining memories are not enough to bind us for the rest of our lives. I have some deep hope in my heart that someday, my undying love will bring you back in my arms. Your letters and messages for me remind me how much you love me. Back then. The picture of your charming smile keep flashing back in front of my eyes; though I know things will never be the same but, I just can’t stop myself. I still love you. I still yearn for your love.
It’s been a long time since the time I saw your face; no matter for how many more months, I won’t get to see you, still your memories and my love for you will never fade away. I’ll leave everything on destiny. Though over a period of time, I have realized the bitter truth that we can’t really be together. I won’t hesitate to say that I am still hanging on to our love.