Grab a plate and throw it in the ground.
Did it break?
Now go ahead and say sorry to it.
Did it go back to how it was?
Did you understand?
In a perfect world there would be no need of apologies but because the world is imperfect, ‘sorry’ exists. Many a times sorry does not repair something or someone who has been deeply hurt and this results in fractured relationship as a life long scar. The importance of sorry might on the contrary have a deeper impact beyond surface level if initiated. According to Clinical Psychologist, Lars Madsen, "Apologizing to someone may involve more than saying sorry. It opens the communication channels and allows one to listen to how the other person has been hurt."
It soothes more than a mere word uttered, it’s a responsibility taken in charge of the damage already been done and the realization of doing whatever is necessary to correct the wrong. ‘Sorry’ allows one the window to a deeper introspection of how the event or situation thus caused is affecting my relationship with the offended and also the acceptance to the fact that no matter how good the intentions might be, it necessarily does not serve the other person’s perspective of how hurt he/she is by the actions caused by the offender. The key point here is to understand that the surface level opinion of either beings will not help solve the equation and rather, the former needs not be defensive while choosing to apologize. To narrow it down, choose process over pacifying for whole hearted peace.
The next important thing to regard it understanding the psyche of the offended; for forgiveness takes time. Be authentic and compassionate. It means nothing unless you take the lesson on board. ‘Sorry’ many a times can just be the tip of the iceberg and you should not be rather uttering it out to escape yourself from the awkwardness of the situation or the tension that is already prevailing. It under no circumstance should be a ‘pacification source’.
Humankind has an amazing capacity to forgive. Something within us cries for reconciliation when a wrong has been done or charged upon. For example, when a wife is hurt by her husband it is more on the side of reconciling her emotional needs rather than a judgment to come to a conclusion to.
Try replacing sorry with a ‘Thank you’ as many times as you can. This shows up how grateful you are for the other person by your side. This doesn’t lessen the importance of the word ‘sorry’ and should not be completely omitted. Apologize when you are sure, sincere and honest. Don’t just give out apologies like samples at a grocery store and degrade its very being!
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